A bit kelong la

My drinking kakis and I were having our usual lao hor at the downstairs kopithiam and we started talking about the Singapore hawker challenge with Gordon Ramsay… then we had a bet.

We all say that the final score confirm is 2-1 to the Singapore team one because need to show off our hawkers sibei zai one ma. But we also need to give him one win so that we can save face…

Don’t get us wrong. We love our hawker food. Without hawker centre, where can we go to talk about politics? But this kind of thing is sibei kelong one la. Singtel probly give him many money to come to Singapore to be a clown for three days. He also very happy to take the money and then come down here for free publicity when he open a new restaurant. Then all the Singaporeans all song song because our hawker food suddenly can beat Michelin Star chefs and become world class. Win/Win/Win le.

So Ramsay come down here and be on his best behavior… and everyone win lor… except the Jumbo guy la… I think he tow qiu for too long also long time neber cook his own chilli crabs liao… so have to be the sacrificial lamb.

Sentosa… your marketing team blain got probrem, is it?

Yesterday, my drinking kakis and I went to the Resort World’s Sentosa casino to earn some of our beer money… then kena sai, the ban lak girl like damn on form like that, every hand also get 21.

So after 3 hours, bo bian, I have to leave the casino and walk around the beach area (need to find if they sell red color swimming trunks so I can change my underwear).

I walk walk walk until I reach the Palawan beach, then I saw this 2 signs…

Sentosa Southernmost point of Asia


Then I think…. not correct leh…. Singapore not an island meh??????  Where got link to continental Asia?

So, I went to do the Google on my phone and I see the description…. orh… they include the 2 Causeway and the link from Singapore to Sentosa as part of the continent….  but even then, on the Sentosa Palawan page they say this…

Uncle me the geography not very good, but I also know that this is bullshit la!

The whole Riau province transparent one ah?

The whole Riau province transparent one ah?

I know the Riau people went to burn their forest until we kena haze la, but like that forget about them also not very nice what…

So, Sentosa Marketing Team… you really need to wake up your idea la… even Uncle Me not very educated also know bullshit when I see it…  if you continue to be like that ah… very embarassing for all the Robert ang mors you are trying to fleece le…

Moving Average ma

So last night I was driving down the expressway and I was stopped by the blardy TP.

The policeman told me I was speeding – that their speed camera logged down my speed at 160km/h and they want to book me.

Then I told them that my car speed at that point in time is not reflective of the actual situation…

My average speed over the last three hours was only 60km/h, and my average speed over the last 24 hours was only 10km/h (I need to sleep one ma)… well below the speed limit.

How come they no accept my excuse ah?


Source: ChannelNewsAsia